Being an Asshole

Lately, I've gotten so wrapped up in percentages of 1RM, Prilepin's table and periodization that I feel I've neglected to mention an important part of designing a strength and conditioning program: being an asshole.

Allow me to elaborate.

Developing a program shouldn't revolve around destroying the athlete with every workout. Not that workouts should ever be easy, but there are diminishing returns for workouts of excessive volume. It's disingenuous to simply prescribe workloads that outstrip the athletes capability. Plus, once you've ground their recovery ability into the dirt, what use is an athlete that can't participate in any activity outside their strength and conditioning program?

However, every now and again, there's room to be an absolute jerk.

Today, I came across this:

That's Ido Portal, more monkey than man, teaching a troop of like-minded monkey men (and women). I was inspired. Which means that this Friday's workout is going to involve some quadrupedal movement. Forwards, backwards and sideways. Sprinting. This isn't the kind of thing that will hurt anyone, but if you've ever sprinted on all fours, you know it pretty much sucks.

Will the average participant ever need to move sideways, on all fours, at top speed? Probably not. Will this carry over to any other form of athleticism? Maybe. Kinda. I guess.

The point is, I don't care. It's going to be hard. It's going to be ridiculous and lots of participants are going to be frustrated and exhausted. The value of the exercise is precisely that.

It's easy to get comfortable doing things you're competent at. We want to get competent at things, which is why we spend the majority of our time doing things that matter, like squatting and deadlifting. However, not all of life is as predictable as a set of 45lb plates and an Olympic bar. Learning new movements, and dealing with sucking at them, is just part of life.

So be an asshole. You'll be better for it.